today is not good

Every single day I sit in the house and have nothing to do. So I messed the house so bad which it will take me weeks to clean up. Which I can never complete it. It stays like that for a very long time

This anxiety & panic attacks I am getting is getting worse.  I cannot control myself. My mind is not thinking clearly basically wish to die. I cannot keep going on and living like this. I am scared what I would. I am praying to have God help me. It’s not working.

The medication is not working and my dr tell me go ahead and take another one and if you still feel like this then call for help. I told him I can’t I need to fight it. There’s gotten be something out there that will help it. So he prescribed me seroquel So I can go asleep and suppose to help. I hope so. However it still will not change anything I will still have the same problem when I wake up.

Please God please help me. I need you desperately.  Please get whatever that’s inside me to leave.

I will not tried to hurt myself I want to get well. God please watch over me.


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